Friday, January 24, 2014

Why is my life so hard?

Why is my life so hard????

A friend of mine used to say this years ago. She would say it purely for the drama. Like"Why is the shake machine broken at McDonalds? I just want a shake! Why is my life so hard?" Completely ridiculous. Always made me laugh and still does.

I also like to use this when our 10 year old son starts whining. Its always about not getting enough iPad time or how I refuse to let him have a tv in his room or his own computer. Horrible Mom, right? My typical response is " I know. Your life is so hard." He usually agrees with me but gets the point and moves on.

It seems like life had been dealing out some harder lessons in the past few months or so. And for a while I just kept going along. Not really taking the time to realize all that was coming our way and filling up our plate. But, then it hit me. Leaving the gym last Sunday after having a brief conversation with a very inspiring older man. It made me feel great but as soon as I got in my car I lost it. Like sobbed. Huge tears. The 'I cant stop these tears! Why am I crying? WHY?' I just let them go and figured why fight it. It was good.

My life is no harder than anyone else I know. I don't think anyone just cruises through life with no stress, no heartache, no loss, no worries. Maybe others just hide it better, deal with it better or just chose to ignore or deny it. There were other times in my teens and 20's and early 30's that I thought "Why is my life so hard?" but looking back was it really that hard? If I were to go through those things now it would seem so much easier than it did then. Perspective? Wisdom? Strength?

I'm not a terribly religious person but I pray everyday. Thank God for all of my blessings. Sometimes I pray to my Granparents or other family members that we have lost. Asking for help or guidance. My husband likes to say "Why would you pray to them? They aren't a God." I find this funny. Maybe he is right but maybe they will put in a good word for me:) I read somewhere that you shouldn't pray for things but instead visualize what you want and instead of saying please, say thank you for what you are visualizing. Makes sense.

I am starting to see the light at the end of this. I am sure there will be another time in my life that will make me stop and say "Why is my life so hard?" but I know I can put check marks by all of these challenges and know that I can handle it. I made it. We made it. And, I will do it again.


  1. You are a strong gal, always have been. I read somebody post "God only gives you add much as u can handle, he must think I'm a real bad ass". Seems true sometimes. Family and positivity will always get you through. Keep your chin up stupid, you will persevere. You, Brent and the kids are awesome.